Harrys' Soul Song
by IHAVEWAYTOOMANYFANDOMSHALPME
Summary: The triwizard champions have their soul song played during the Yule Ball. Ravenclaw!Harry Artist!Harry Clumsy!Harry Harry/Padma ONESHOT Some self abuse and bashing. Harry hates Dumbledore! Harry hates his father!


**Disclaimer - I do not own any of the characters or the setting and I also do not own the song. All credit go to JKRowling and LINKIN PARK.**

 _Italics -_ Memories

 ** _Bold Italics_** \- Song lyrics

It was the night of the Yule Ball. All was fine and the food was good. Harry and Padma had been dancing all night and they we're both enjoying themselves. Ronald Weasley was being a douchebag, and Parvati was dancing with a Beauxbatons boy. The music was nice and the decor was magnificent. It was a shock to everyone, but the heads of the other schools, Ludo Bagman and Percy Weasley, who was representing Mr Crouch, when Professor Dumbledore stepped up to a podium. Waving his hands dramatically he quickly drew attention to himself.

"Ludo Bagman suggested not too long ago that we needed something to spice things up. Me, Mr Crouch, Mr Bagman, Professor Karkaroff, and Madame Maxime, have agreed to have each of our four champions come up and have their soul song played, along with memories being shown of the wall, the song lyrics underneath. Professor Flitwick will be the one casting the spells. A person may have more then one spell depending on their personality. They will sit in this chair," Dumbledore announced, motioning to the overstuffed armchair next to him.

Harry groaned, and buried his face in his hands. Looking up he continued to listen to the headmaster talking.

"We will call the champions up in the order in which they fought the dragons. This being Mr Cedric Diggory as first, Miss Fleur Delacour as second, Mr Viktor Krum as third, and Mr Harry Potter as fourth."

Grimacing, Hary glanced at Padma with an expression of distress. What would she think of this? What would his song be? What would his memories show? Would his reputation be ruined? How many songs would be have? Would Padma hate him after all this? How will this situation turn out?

Harry was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice what was going on until Padma poked him in the ribs, and whispered that it was his turn. Looking up he realised that everyone was staring at him. He stood up and slowly trudged up to the chair where he was to sit in. He squeezed hi s eyes shut as he heard Professor Flitwick mutter 'the soul song charm'. Opening his eyes, he gazed at the wall where his memories would play, along with the song lyrics.

 ** _'Numb, by LINKIN PARK'_**

 ** _'I'm tired of being what you want me to be.'_**

 _The wall showed the memory of him having his hands shaken, over and over again, during his his first visit to the Leaky Cauldron._

 ** _'Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.'_**

 _On the wall was a memory of his uncle putting bars on his bedroom window in the summer before second year._

 ** _'Don't know what you're expecting of me.'_**

 _It showed his name come out of the goblet and him getting up from the Ravenclaw table._

 ** _'Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes.'_**

 _He was walking up to the sorting hat._

 ** _'(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.)_**

 ** _Every step I take is another mistake to you._**

 ** _(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)'_**

 _The wall showed him being sneered at by people at he walked to class in second year._

 ** _'I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.'_**

 _His uncle backhanded his face and he fell backwards._

 ** _'Become so tired, so much more aware.'_**

 _Tossing and turning during the night._

 ** _'I'm becoming this, all I want to do.'_**

 _He was sketching a sliver cat that looked very much like Professor McGonagalls' animagus form, in the very first transfiguration class._

 ** _'Is be more like me and be less like you.'_**

 _He was desperately trying to flatten his hair, but it just wouldn't work and he was getting more and more frustrated by the second._

 ** _'Can't you see that you're smothering me?'_**

 _A plump red-haired woman that he had never met was hugging him._

 ** _'Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control.'_**

 _He was griping the desk so hard that his knuckles were white, while Snape insulted him during Potions._

 ** _'Cause everything that you thought I would be.'_**

 _The sword was plunging into the mouth of the basilisk._

 ** _'Has fallen apart right in front of you.'_**

 _He was reading a book on trigonometry._

 _ **'(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.)**_

 _ **Every step that I take is another mistake to you.'**_

 _He tripped over in the greenhouse and Professor Sprout was shaking her head at him and tutting._

 _ **'(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.)**_

 _ **And every second I waste is more then I can take.'**_

 _His hair stuck up at angles that Einstein would envy, his glasses were lopsided, and he has massive bags under his eyes, while he studies fervently for exams._

 _ **'I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.'**_

 _He was sitting under a tree, in the snow, shivering._

 _ **'Become so tired, so much more aware.'**_

 _He was setting up wards around his bed in the Ravenclaw boys dorms._

 _ **'I'm becoming this, all I want to do.'**_

 _He was painting a picture of a girl that he has met in street, with brown hair, blue eyes, and glasses, who had helped him when he was running from Dudley._

 _ **'Is be more like me and be less like you.'**_

 _He had grown his hair out and it was much easier to control. He tied it up._

 _ **'And I know, I may end up failing too.'**_

 _He accidentally knocked ink onto his arithmancy essay._

 _ **'But I know, You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.'**_

 _Professor Sinstra glowered at him when he nearly knocked a chubby Gryffindor student out of the astronomy tower._

 _ **'I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.'**_

 _He was cutting into his arm with a razor blade._

 _ **'Become so tired, so much more aware.'**_

 _He jumped a foot in the air when someone cleared their throat behind him._

 _ **'I'm becoming this, all I want to do.'**_

 _He was drawing muggle book characters in a notepad._

 _ **'Is be more like me and be less like you.'**_

 _He ripped a photo of his parents in half and lit the half with his father in it on fire._

 _ **'I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.'**_

 _A dementor stepped into his carriage on the train and he just ignored it. Affronted, the dementor left._

 _ **'(I'm tired of being what you want me to be.)**_

 _He sneered at Sirius Black as his godfather grinned at him with a hopeful expression._

 _ **'I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.**_

 _He helped a small blond girl, with blue eyes from his house, get her shoes out of a Christmas tree._

 _ **'(I'm tired of being what you want me to be.)'**_

 _He kissed Padma, and then glared at Professor Dumbledore, during breakfast._

Harry looked away from the wall and glared at Professor Dumbledore, before saying,

"May I be excused to leave?"

Most members of the staff table nodded, while others either glowered at him, or tried to get him to go to the hospital wing. Harry got up from the chair and strode over to Padma. She smiled at him. He grinned and kissed her before quickly leaving the room.


End file.
